The Infinite Power of Sex

Introduction

It seems that no one wants to discuss sex openly and honestly - not even the renowned therapists. So, I'm going to do it! Hence this document.

Sex is the most powerful ruler on earth. It relentlessly controls each and every one of us all the way from birth till death. While it itself is never destructive, no matter how strongly it's demanding service, any inappropriate response always causes harm. There are only two appropriate ways in which to respond to a sexual urge:

When Married
Only ever have sex with your spouse.
When Single
Only ever have sex with yourself, i.e. masturbate, thus effectively being your own spouse.

What goes wrong when these rules are violated? Please seriously consider the following incomplete list:

Note: The reason that I myself use inappropriate exposure rather than indecent exposure is that there's nothing whatsoever indecent about a naked human body. The real problem is that we'd rather blame others than ourselves for our own faults - in this case, for not taking full personal responsibility for our own lust-filled thoughts.

Many will say But we aren't married yet have remained faithful to one another so what's wrong with that?. Sure, but that's based on a serious misunderstanding of what marriage is. Even the religious institutions have universally gotten this wrong. It's intercourse itself that creates a marriage - the ceremony merely formalizes that marriage. In other words, as of the start of your very first intercourse you are married to each other and should immediately begin living as such regardless of any social consequences.

If you've had more than one sexual partner then you've engaged in polygamy. Sadly, what we essentially have today amounts to what I refer to as a mass polygamy grid wherein almost everyone is married to almost everyone.

So let's define some laws that'll help you have an enjoyable marriage and a fulfilling sex life. They're based on my own whole lifetime of submission to sex as well as our 40-year wonderful marriage. I've also verified that none of them violates anything that the Bible has to say about sex - which, actually, is a whole lot. I hope they'll be helpful.

Note: I added the Latin, just for fun, as a special touch in order to make them look official. 😃

Laws for Marriage

Confession: We eventually did upgrade to a queen-sized bed but that wasn't in order to try to avoid each other. It was, rather, to make room for our children because there was always an unspoken, welcoming invitation for any of them to join us whenever he/she felt the need to do so. We were still always naked and still slept right up against each other.

Hint: Put a high quality, very comfortable mattress cover on your bed.

Laws for Sex

Note: Our wedding day was the transition from always immediately responding to all of my own sexual urges to always immediately fulfilling all of my wife's sexual needs.

Children Need Sexual Relief

Based on my memories from my own very early childhood as well as my observations of our 13 babies, it's my belief that every single child has a very active need for sexual relief right from birth (or maybe even earlier). While this need starts out as very gentle urges, so the child can kind of live with them, they're not only ever-present but also are irresistible. The longer they aren't dealt with the stronger they become until the child eventually starts to feel desperate for sexual relief.

The only ethical way to resolve a child's need for sexual relief is for him/her to masturbate, which is why parents must never shame and/or try to prevent this naturally required behaviour. If they do then their child ends up in a state of helpless frustration from which he/she has no escape.

This may well be the explanation for what's known as colic, i.e. when a baby cries incessantly for no apparent reason. We Check his/her diaper and it's clean. We reposition his/her diaper in order to try to ensure that it's more comfortable. We hold them, rock them, take them for a walk, talk soothingly to them, etc but nothing works. We try feeding them but that doesn't work. We take them for a medical checkup and nothing is found. So what's wrong? I believe that it's a need for sexual relief that's been left unresolved for too long and, therefore, has become distressingly strong.

Does science support my position on this? Well - no, not officially, in spite of all of the evidence they've collected. They've come up with the concept of Infantile Gratification Disorder but that's only because they're biased. They simply can't entertain the concept of a baby needing sexual relief because they've convinced themselves that a need for sex doesn't enters a person's life until puberty. Due to this bias, they reframe an entirely natural and necessary childhood behaviour into being a serious problem that needs to be fixed. To use their own terminology, they're suffering from cognitive dissonance.

There's circumstantial evidence to support the idea that even a baby needs sexual relief. Clinical observations of infant self-stimulation often note a reset effect wherein infants appear relaxed and fall into a deep sleep following masturbation. Conversely, children prevented from this relief often become extremely agitated and/or inconsolable. this behaviour is frequently misdiagnosed by medical professionals as seizures, colic, or even urinary tract infections, suggesting a widespread lack of recognition for this innate biological drive.

Research indicates a significant discrepancy in the discovery of this relief valve with observed rates around 90% for boys compared to 50% for girls. This is probably due to mechanical differences. While a boy's anatomy allows for easier, often accidental discovery, a girl's anatomy requires the discovery of specific postures and/or movements like crossing her thighs, rhythmic rocking, stiffening her legs, holding her breath, or lying on her tummy and using her weight to press down hard with her vulva. Consequently, girls may be more likely to experience prolonged sexual agitation than boys do because resolving their need is much more difficult. Their struggle for relief is more frequently misidentified and/or suppressed by caregivers.

So, to summarize: Children are just as much under the relentless control of sex as adults are. This begins right from birth (probably even earlier). While this control starts out as very gentle urges, those urges are just as irresistible. Parents do their children a major disservice by trying to shame and/or prevent them from masturbating. Children need to understand that those demanding sexual urges that they're feeling will always be an integral and unavoidable part of their lives.

Even the supposed experts get this wrong. They speak of children discovering how their bodies work as they explore their genitalia. No! What they're actually doing is learning how to healthily serve sex as they helplessly respond to its relentless demands. Since those urges, even at the youngest age, demand resolution, if parents don't allow their children to masturbate then they'll eventually find places and/or ways to do so in secret. They'll have no choice!

Parents should not only allow their children to masturbate - they should proactively encourage it. This must always be done subtly - it must never be done overtly - because a child must never become self-conscious about his/her need for sexual urge resolution. Here are some ideas regarding how to do this:

Because sex imposes such a persistent and irresistible demand, a child naturally discovers that masturbation is his/her way to appease it. This shouldn't be viewed through a lens of shame. It must be understood as a child's only healthy way to restore internal peacefulness. The deep calm it provides serves as an internal protection against all of the temptations to engage in unhealthy external behaviours.

Because the need for sexual relief is irresistible and increases in intensity when not dealt with, it'll always eventually demand an outlet. If that outlet isn't found internally, it'll eventually compel a person to seek his/her relief from social wreckage like failed relationships. Masturbation preserves a person's sexual integrity, keeping him/her immune to the poisons of destructive sexual conduct, so that he/she can eventually enter into a healthy marriage without prior damage.

Even when his/her parents forbid masturbation (as mine did), a child will always find ways to do it simply because he/she must. Common places are while in bed or when in the bathroom, but there are much more inventive ways. Drawing on my own experience:

Note: A boy masturbating into a toilet evokes a very compelling image - a slave kneeling before the throne as he serves his master.

Why the Parental Silence

We never hid anything about sex from our children, even visually, right from birth. They simply accepted it as normal parental behaviour. We, of course, ensured that they understood that it was strictly for a married couple.

They were always welcome to ask questions about sex, as was also the case for any other question, even at the dinner table. We'd always answer each question in a way that gave a little extra information in order to encourage more questions. As we could, we'd anticipate what more they might want to know - touching on that was the extra bit of information we'd add.

So, let's have a look at several reasons that parents have used in order to justify their lack of motivation to talk with their children about sex:

Shame of Their Own Submission to the Control of Sex
Sex - especially intercourse when done right - causes incredibly intense emotions and a total loss of self control. This makes them look weak rather than authoritative. They may even have their own unresolved feelings about how sex makes them behave.
Fear of Encouraging Early Sexual Activity
This is just plain wrong! While parents have typically been taught that their children are merely exploring or discovering themselves, the fact is that their children are already engaging in sexual activity. Right from birth, they've been enslaved to the irresistible need to resolve their own sexual urges, gentle as they may be at the outset.
Perceived Age Inappropriateness
What's age-inappropriate about sexual knowledge? They're already having sex with themselves, anyway, so shouldn't they be taught what it's all about?
Desire to Preserve Childhood Innocence
This makes no sense. After all, what isn't innocent about sex? The opposite of innocence is guilt. Does a person become guilty of something when he/she finally does learn about sex? What the parents are actually trying to preserve is childhood naïvité, which is really just a polite way of saying childhood ignorance.
Lack of Communication Skills
One of the primary duties of a parent is to teach their children how to unerstand what they're hearing and how to express what they're thinking. All parents are capable of this - it doesn't take some form of special communication skill. What they're really saying, without wanting to admit it, is that they're embarrassed to talk about sex. But why? Isn't that the very activity that they themselves are involved in and that brought their children into existance?
Lack of Knowledge
Now just who among us knows everything about anything. Do we not teach our children about food just because we may not know how to cook, bake, or whatever? Do we not teach our children about the dangers of stepping out into the road without looking both ways first just because we don't know everything about how cars work? Of course we should be teaching our children about sex insofar as we understand it!
Fear of Questions They Can't Answer
If our children have any questions that we can't readily answer then we should use that as an opportunity to teach them that any subject can be researched. Just be honest and tell them that you don't know, then go and find out, and finally remind them of their question and give them the answer. This approach reinforces the fact that you see them as important individuals in their own right and that you actually do care about them.
Concern Over Misinformation
It's disinformation - not misinformation - that's a crime. We all risk dispensing misinformation all the time, regardless of what we're teaching our children. Sex isn't a special case!
Assumption of School Education
That's waiting way too long! They've already been having sex with themselves since birth so how does making them wait till they're in high school to understand what they're already doing make any sense. Additionally, the schools usually teach sex in a very misguided way. They essentially flood their students' knowledge with contraceptive methods, how to avoid sexually transmitted diseases, how to avoid pegnancy, etc. In other words, they effectively teach their students to go out and have sex as long as they do it safely. Is that what you really want your children to be taught, i.e. the mechanics of sex without any accompanying values and responsibilities?
Discomfort
Sure, maybe it's uncomfortable for parents to be talking about sex. Let me make a suggestion. Start talking to your babies about sex, right from birth, while you're changing their diapers. It's a wonderful opportunity to teach them about their now exposed genitalia. Tell them the proper names for those organs, explain what they're used for, etc. Your babies won't even be understanding what you're saying for quite a while so it's a wonderful opportunity to simply get used to talking about the subject.
Personal Upbringing
Just because my parents didn't talk to me about sex isn't a reason that I shouldn't talk to my children about sex. Why should my doing the right thing depend on someone else's failure?
Cultural or Religious Beliefs
Others - even other authorities - aren't always right. We need to decide for ourselves what's right. Regarding, say, christianity (I know very little about the others), we find a whole lot of misinterpretations of what the Bible actually declares regarding sex. The Bible - so no less than God Himself - has plenty to say about it, and it also declares that all of itself, without exception, is good for everyone.
Taboos and Stigmas
Why should such things even ever matter?

Spousal Oneness

Spousal oneness (what the Bible calls One Flesh) isn't just a social or spiritual concept - it's the literal biological fusion of a husband and his wife. In this state, the two spouses function as a single, wholly integrated and inseparable entity. Their union is maintained through a continuous, reciprocal exchange of hormones and chemical signatures, creating a state of mutual biological dependency. These chemical transfers within their union occur in three distinct ways: from the husband to his wife, from the wife to her husband, and through shared, mutual absorption.

From Husband to Wife
The wife absorbs specific hormones and biological signatures from her husband. His chemical profile is transferred directly into her bloodstream as his semen is absorbed by the mucosal membranes of her vaginal wall. This calibrates her to his unique biological signature. The key components of this transfer are prostaglandins and androgens that regulate and stabilize her metabolic state.
From Wife to Husband
The husband receives his wife's chemical signature via two primary pathways. The glans of his penis is a specialized, highly permeable, mucosal membrane which facilitates the absorption of her estrogens, pheromones, and immune proteins directly into his bloodstream during intercourse. He also absorbs volatile chemical signals (pheromones like copulins) from her via his olfactory system and skin-to-skin contact, which synchronize his neurological state with her biological cycle.
From Each to the Other
There's also a continuous, two-way exchange of chemicals that occurs during prolonged proximity. They exchange their microbiomes - beneficial bacteria - through physical contact, which harmonizes their immune systems so that each now recognizes the other as self rather than as foreign. They also absorb air-borne chemical signals from one another that regulate each other's mood, stress levels, and circadian rhythms.

Their fusion is further solidified through the process of microchimerism. A bidirectional exchange occurs wherein live cells and genetic material are transferred from each spouse to the other through the permeable mucosal membranes of her vaginal wall and the glans of his penis. These cells enter their respective bloodstreams and eventually embed themselves within each other's internal organs. This results in a permanent, physical weaving of their identities wherein each spouse carries the living biological blueprint of the other for the remainder of their lives.

These exchanges create a mutual biological anchor. This is why, whenever they're apart for a time or when one dies, the sudden cessation of this mutual feeding can lead to systemic distress. Conversely, while in the presence of one another, they're satisfied and in a state of peace and contentment.

A Theory of Mine: Total spousal fusion has been designed to operate within a closed, binary loop. As long as an exclusive union is maintained, their immune systems eventually stabilize into a single, fortified defence. However, if a person has multiple sexual partners then his/her immune system is forced into a state of constant, conflicting recalibration. Because it's perpetually struggling to adapt to a revolving door of foreign biological signatures, it never achieves "One Flesh" stability. This instability leaves his/her defences fragmented and weakened, creating a vulnerability that may explain the high prevalence and severity of sexually transmitted diseases in our day.

Contraception (birth control)

While the whole idea of contraception is wrong in the first place, the reason for this has nothing to do with sex so it's beyond the scope of this document. Nevertheless, I'll briefly explain it here, anyway. The Bible is very clear that no less than God Himself causes each and every conception. A sperm fertilizing an egg is merely a chemical reaction so it can't possibly create the spiritual component of a human being - the soul - which is critical for actual life. Contraception, therefore, is no less than a profound act of rebellion against God Himself because it's our attempt to thwart His will for our lives.

There's a serious problem that a couple who chooses to use contraception inflicts on their own relationship. While they have an irresistible and desperate need to have sex with each other, they know all too well that no contraceptive method is perfect. They live in constant fear, therefore, that this time might just be that one time when their contraception will fail. This ultimately means that, if only at a subliminal level, they're actually living in constant fear of each other. This prevents them from getting truly close to one another.

I don't want this document to become an advertising campaign for all of the various contraceptive methods so I'll just present a brief overview. I want to primarily make these points:

IUDs (intrauterine devices)
Hormonal Methods
Condoms
Not only does a condom reduce sensitivity, it also prevents chemical exchanges from each spouse to the other. A wife absorbs chemicals from her husband through her vaginal tissues, and a husband absorbs chemicals from his wife through his glans. This includes each other's microbiome (bacteria and other microorganisms), emotionally stabilizing hormones and pheromones, and cells (microchimerism). Their intercourse slowly transitions from a need for sex to a chemical, i.e. drug-like, dependency on each other whereby they both become starved if apart for too long. They keep each other stable, develop a common immune system wherein each recognizes the other as self, and even their very identities become fused.
Vasectomies
Abortion

Abortion (deliberate termination of a pregnancy)

Crib Death - A Possible Explanation

While it has nothing to do with sex - so it's technically beyond the scope of this document - I'm going to document something that happened to us, here, anyway. It's much too important not to! I think this may be the cause - or at least one of the causes - of what's commonly known as crib death but which is formally known as SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome).

We almost lost one of our babies to a near silent death! If it almost happened to one of our babies then it could just as easily happen to anyone else's baby. If it happened in our bed while I was awake to observe and prevent it then it'd likely happen much more frequently to babies who are alone in their cribs with no one to observe them.

Our baby was sleeping in our bed between us. Probably due to an accidental roll, he ended up on his tummy with his face buried in our sheet and mattress thus making him unable to breathe. He did instinctively respond to this in almost the right way, but the problem is that almost wasn't good enough. He lifted himself up, applying the same amount of force with both arms, which, of course, didn't trigger the much needed roll. He also didn't turn his head so he remained face down. Of course he couldn't hold himself up like that for very long so he eventually collapsed back down onto our bed in the very same position and was, again, unable to breathe.

This happened over and over again. It was so silent that no one would've been alerted to his predicament. The only sound was a very soft thump each time he collapsed. I waited long enough to conclude that he really wasn't going to ever use unequal arm lift and/or turn his head, and finally gave him a gentle nudge. That's all it took. He ended up back on his side, began to breathe normally, and it was almost as if it had never happened.

This horrified me because, as mentioned above, it could've easily happened while we were both asleep or while he was in his crib. I hope some expert will discover this document and read at least this section!

Some Personal Notes

My wife was a totally traumatized girl when we met:

  1. About seven years of total parental neglect due to alcoholism.
  2. Repeated rape by a foster brother.
  3. A gang rape at high school headed up by a guy she thought she could trust.
  4. A brutal rape, just a few months before we met, in a wooded area near the town where she lived.

As she described herself back then, she'd completely retreated into her shell in order to hide from the world. She, ever-so-slowly, began to share the tragic details of her past. She was totally honest with me in order to be sure that I'd know what I was getting. I don't recall having made any pretenses to her, either. In fact, neither of us was looking, or even thinking about looking, when we met. We were simply a boy and a girl who took an instant liking - or maybe it was an instant loving - to each other.

We didn't engage in social practices like dating. We didn't refer to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. We didn't say things like I love you to each other. What we did do was talk on that old telephone thing late into the night lots, and I'd often join her when she was babysitting. Sex wasn't an issue - not even a topic - during that only two month period. There wasn't even any possessive physical contact like kissing, hugging, touching legs beneath a table, etc. While she was babysitting, I'd usually be playing with the children.

She was taking a tremendous gamble when she wanted us to marry as she knew full well that marriage means sex and that sex might totally retraumatize her. So what happened when we were finally at home, alone together, on our wedding day?

  1. We sat on our couch, this time right up against each other, just talking like before.
  2. At some point, she became totally silent for a while.
  3. Then, without even a single word, she gently took my hand and led me to bed.
  4. She then immediately lay down on her back and spread her legs wide.

That time while she was silent was when she was finally confronting the raw reality of After all of my trauma, am I actually able to be a wife?. Her final conclusion clearly was a resounding YES. While she was already so freely expressing herself through sex and playful femininity right from the outset, she continued to suffer from a couple of serious, negative consequences from the brutality of her most recent rape:

What was her cure? Something a therapist could never deliver - a lot of love and plenty of gentle and affectionate sex! Who'd have thought that sex itself would be the total cure for profound sexual abuse. Sexual Trauma may have driven her into hiding but it never managed to destroy the truly beautiful and totally uninhibitedly feminine girl herself!

Now we might ask why sex wasn't even an issue during our courtship. The answer for her is obvious - she'd been a victim of such severe sexual abuse. For me, however, the answer is quite different. I'd been living a life of childhood sex (with myself), from even before I can remember, always dutifully responding to the slightest urge. This kept me at total peace. My mind was never cluttered with sex-related things like classroom distraction, the thrills of sexual inuendos and pornography, time and energy wasted on repeated relationship failures, wanting a girlfriend, etc. That's why I wasn't even looking for a potential mate when we met.

Interestingly, my penis knew that she was the right girl well before my mind came to that conclusion. Really, as of the very moment we met I was no longer feeling any more sexual urges until the need for spousal sex exploded in response to her fully surrendered invitation on our wedding day. We simply got to know each other without any false personal advertising. All we both knew is that we wanted to spend more and more time together, which culminated in us wanting to be together all the time.

We had a wonderful and very close marriage for the next 40 years (till she died). We never had any need for what they call alone time. For us, sexual interaction was a constant way of living - not just an appointment reserved for bedtime. We didn't need empty gestures like birthday and Christmas presents, anniversary celebrations, flowers, rings, etc. We didn't need to constantly reaffirm our love by referring to each other with endearing nicknames like dear, darling, honey, etc. We even hardly ever said I love you to each other. We just actually really did love each other!

But, yes, we did have sincerely affectionate, meaningful nicknames for each other. I usually just called her my girl, or just girl. When she lost all of her pubic hair during chemo treatments (they don't warn girls about this), I gently put my hand on her bare vulva and told her that, for now, she was my little girl. Then, when it finally all grew back I told her that she was my big girl again. I also often told her that she was my favourite toy or my living dolly. When she needed sex I was her dinkie. My dinkie itself was her favourite toy. While I was nursing at her breast I was her big baby. While I was drinking her pee I was her toilet.

Life, as it always does, threw many difficult situations our way. For example:

Through them all - yes, there were plenty more - our marriage remained solid. Our love for each other, as well as our sexual desire for each other, never waned.

In case you're curious and would like to look it up: That pregnancy-related problem is now called IIH - Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension - though, at that time, it was still called pseudo tumour cerebri. It was indeed very, very serious! In fairness to those doctors, though, it's extremely rare so they never suspected it. Until we refused to let them abort our baby they'd only been relying on the expertise within the obstetrics department. After we refused, they immediately drew on all of the experts throughout the entire hospital.

And, by the way, our refusal was very gentle and respectful. My wife was totally shocked and didn't know what to say. I then just quietly asked Tell me - is would you like us to terminate this pregnancy medical jargon for would you like us to murder your baby. That's all it took.

We might as well deal with the question that many might be afraid to ask, i.e. what's commonly referred to as the elephant in the room. Did all of my masturbation in response to the slightest sexual urge throughout my entire childhood detract in any way from my childhood? No, not at all! It was absolutely wonderful and gave me such a persistent peace. It made it possible for me to tackle those things that were truly important to me. For example:

I've chosen to reveal these personal details in order to show that I'm writing this document based on a whole lot of experience with marriage and sex. Yes, even an entire childhood being helplessly enslaved to my own sexual urges.

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Mancipium perpetuum mentulae meae exigentis iam ab antequam meminisse possum.
A perpetual slave to my own demanding penis since before I can remember.

Dave Mielke
Dave@Mielke.cc

Concubitus est ut maritus uxori suae beneplacitum, satisfactionem, et contentum praebeat.
Cum ea suaviter tractetur, cunnus eius multo maiorem remissionem mentulae suae praebebit.

Intercourse is for the husband to give his wife pleasure, satisfaction, and contentment.
When handling her with tenderness, her vagina will give much greater relief to his penis.